UPDATED ANALYSIS 10/28/2003

Preface

As previously mentioned, love is a topic of great difficulty for me.  Being the epitome of the guarded Cancerian, i have spent the bulk of my life safely within the sheltered confines of my shell; impenetrable walls standing constant guard around my soul, preventing interlopers access, keeping me safe and sound.

Until recently i have had no desire to venture forth from my womb-like comfort of these walls.  Until recently no one has bothered to even notice the existence of the barriers i so painstakingly erected around myself, let alone attempted to breach them. 

The desire to venture forth came to be about the same Master Gentry came into my offline life.  I struggled to deconstruct the walls and barriers that i myself had constructed around my soul, only to fail and fail again.  It seems that i had become so adept at erected foolproof barriers that i had even protected my soul from myself; from my own desire to venture forth from myself.

Then, without notice or warning, an amazing and highly extraordinary thing happened.  I cannot say how it happened, but suddenly i found myself aware of another presence within the inner sanctum of my soul.  The walls themselves still stood firmly in place, all the psychic defenses still functioned within acceptable parameters, the fortress walls still completely intact, yet i was no longer alone within myself.

Somehow, some way, Master Gentry had unexplainably found a way in.  He disturbed nothing as He entered, so stealthy was He that i noticed nothing until suddenly, there He was beside me, planted firmly within my soul.

And so i re-evaluate this chapter, On Love with a new perspective.

The Analysis

The very first thing of note in this chapter is that it is Almitra, the seeress, who asks Almustafa of Love.  As a seeress, it is likely that she would have already known which questions would be of the most import to the people of Orphalese.  That she chose Love to be the first topic for Almustafa to expound upon indicates a profound importance.

In Chapter One, Almitra is noted to have come out of the sanctuary to speak with Almustafa.  This indicates that, at least in this society, the seeress is part of the religious or spiritual sect, and that her choice to ask the Prophet first of Love was of spiritual as well as emotional and physical significance.

These observations give an even greater depth to Almustafas response.

The second thing of note in this chapter is that no definition of Love is given in Almustafas response; no designation of what type of love he speaks about.  Upon careful reading the chapter you will note that he seems to speak of several types of love: love of Deity, romantic love, love of life, love of self, etc.  There are likely to be as many interpretations of this as there are people to interpret it.

My interpretation is that Almustafa did see a separation of love into types or categories; that his understanding of Love was as a universal, unilateral state of being, not a range of emotional and/or physical responses.  This interpretation is in line with the fact that he speaks of love personified, as though it is a person or entity actively working in this world.

The only other topics he speaks of in this personified manner are beauty and friendship.  Perhaps these three are personified because they are of great importance in our lives and are often misunderstood and misrepresented.

The very first thing Almustafa tells the Orphalese about Love is When love beckons to you follow him. Which is immediately followed by Though his ways are hard and steep..

Love, in todays society is thought of as something you can give, receive, withhold, etc.  But Almustafas words tell us that love is not a thing or an emotion, rather it is a course of action that one can either follow or reject.  Love has a life of its own and can neither be given or received, only lived.  And in choosing to live a life of Love is to choose a life filled with struggles and pains, but also filled with triumph, growth and fulfillment.

Almustafa tells the Orphalese that Love will crucify you, shatter your dreams, shake your roots, thresh you to make you naked, grind you to whiteness, knead you until you are pliant. 

But he also tells them that Love will crown you, ascend to your height and caress your tenderest branches, Love is for your growth.

Almustafa also tells us why all these things are:  that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Lifes heart.

All too often, and with increasing frequency in this modern world we now live in, humanity has forgotten that we are animals, just as the lion, the elephant, and all the other creatures of our world are animals.  Humanity tends to reject the idea that we possess an innate knowledge or instinct; yet we readily accept and acknowledge that all other creatures of our world possess just the same type of innate knowledge, or instinct. 

This innate knowledge contains more than just the animal instinct that we often associate with it.  It contains knowledge of great spiritual significance.  The Christian religions could correlate it to the knowledge once possessed in the Garden of Eden; the Eastern religions could correlate it to regained knowledge of Enlightenment, etc.

In all of humanitys advanced intellect, we have pushed this knowledge aside and come to fear it.  We have intentionally forgotten not only that it exists, but also how to access it.  It is within this innate knowledge base that the true nature of Love exists.

To follow Love when it beckons is to accept the innate knowledge within ourselves and to truly come to know ourselves as a unique individual, unlike any other individual on this Earth, yet exactly like every other individual on this earth. 

To attain the knowledge of the secrets of your heart you must become with this innate knowledge, and to do this you must allow yourself, as Almustafa puts it, to be pruned in order that you may grow to your fullest potential.

Pruning is not a pleasant experience in and of itself.  To allow long held beliefs, no matter how false they may be, ripped from the very core of yourself will take much courage and strength.   It WILL be a struggle of epic proportion for the individual who follows the beckoning of Love.  But it is a struggle that is well worth any pain or suffering, for the alternative is to live only half of a life. 

As Almustafa told the Orphalese, But if in your fear you would seek only loves peace and loves pleasure you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. 

With Love, you shall live life to its fullest, experiencing the deepest facets of the human experience with a complete understanding of yourself.

Without Love, you shall know only small parts of life, and understand them with only the small parts of yourself to which you have access.

The choice is yours.  Choose well.  Choose wisely.

Afterward

Love has been beckoning to me for quite some time.  For too long i resisted the call, choosing instead to yield to my fear and  live in the Seasonless world where i would never know all of my laughter or all of my tears.

But the gods have smiled upon me.  For when they sent Love to guide me, they sent it in the form of a most kind and patient man, a man with a firm enough hand to steer me away from the fear and guide me instead into the light of true Love.

They sent Master Gentry to be my Guide, my Teacher, knowing He possesses the qualities it will take to push me to reach for that which i want, desire, and need.

It would be all but impossible for anyone Master Gentry and myself to fully grasp the depths of my fear of Love and the trials of growth that it brings with it.  The journey from my place of fear, that place within the fortress i had built around my soul, to the place where i now stand has been rife with struggle, tears, pain and sorrow far beyond that which i ever imagined. 

And where do i stand now?

I stand on the very first stone ever laid upon the path of Love.  I know that i face struggles and challenges the likes of which will no doubt, make those experienced thus far pale in comparison.

The walls MUST fall, the fortress MUST be destroyed, i MUST open myself to Love.

Why?

Because i have been given a taste of that which Love has to offer, and it was the sweetest thing i have ever tasted, and i want to taste more. 

I have been granted a glimpse into my own soul, and i long to know myself more fully.

I have given myself to Master Gentry, but if i do not truly know myself, then what have a i really given?

copyright 2003 Viking House/bwb